Oct 15: Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day

Please read the following post by Shawna, an active momstown mama, about October 15th, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. As you read please consider changing both your Facebook profile pic and your Twitter avatar at 7pm on October 15th to an image of a burning candle in support of the Wave of Light. If enough people do this we will have a visual “Wave of Light” on all of our social media outlets.

Hi – I’m Shawna, and I’m super excited (and nervous) to be a guest blogger for momstown Hamilton!

I am a bereaved aunt – my niece was stillborn on June 12th, 2010. My sister is my best friend and getting the news from her that her baby had died in utero at 39 weeks gestation was one of the worst moments of my life. There are no words to describe the utter shock, denial and despair I felt. The worst of it was the helplessness I felt, and the fact that I couldn’t take away any of the pain my sister, her husband and their daughter were dealing with.

As many as 1 in 5 pregnancies end in miscarriage and each year in Canada there are approximately 6 stillborn infants in 1000 total births. Thousands more families in Canada also experience this loss through ectopic pregnancy, medical termination and infant loss. If we haven’t experienced it ourselves, we all know someone who has endured this heartbreak.

What I struggled with was the lack of support and resources for pregnancy and infant loss. For an issue that is so widespread, it boggled my mind that there wasn’t a national organisation, governmental or otherwise out there for people to turn to.

However, I did find Perinatal Bereavement Services of Ontario (PBSO). I’ve been volunteering with that group for nearly a year now, and currently sit on their board of directors. It’s not easy. We, like all other worthy charities need funding and volunteers and supporters. PBSO provides a variety of unique support services that have been tailored specifically to meet the special needs of perinatally bereaved families. The organization has also grown to include developing and implementing educational training seminars for health care professionals, caregivers, clergy and funeral directors on how to best support these families.

Through PBSO, my pet project has been getting a bill passed at Queen’s Park recognizing October 15th as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day here in Ontario – in line with Manitoba, Nova Scotia, New Brunswick and Prince Edward Island. Lobbying in the realm of provincial politics in Ontario has been fascinating and rewarding but also very frustrating at times. I have yet to meet with anyone who has an objection to the bill but with other very high profile issues, it’s difficult to manage the logistics of pushing our important yet simply symbolic bill. What I stress to politicians and their aides is the importance of this bill and the impact it will have on bereaved families in Ontario. The simple act of recognition is one that leads to healing and understanding.

If your life has been affected by pregnancy and infant loss, I invite you to join us Lakefront Promenade Park in Mississauga (parking lot just north of Picnic area B) at 1 pm on Saturday, October 15th. PBSO is hosting a gathering of families to commemorate Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. You can RSVP at pbso@pbso.ca

If you are unable to attend, you can still participate in the Wave of Light – candles lit in loving memory of our babies. If everyone lights a candle at 7 pm and keeps it burning for at least one hour, there will be a continuous wave of light over the entire world on October 15th, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

If you are looking for support, connecting with others who’ve experienced loss or are volunteering and supporting PBSO, or just interested in learning more – you can contact me at shawnaclouthier@hotmail.com or contact PBSO directly at www.pbso.ca